A brief story about myself... I am currently applying for graduate schools. I do not have a definite number of the number of PIs that I have inquired about a possible graduate position, but I know it is more than 20. Every single one of them ended up rejecting my inquiry due to the fact that they were not able to support another student the follow academic year. It is hard to not loose hope and become critical of yourself when you get rejected so many times.
It was interesting to read the article on Winch's Tedtalk. I had no idea that rejection stimulates that same part of the brain that processes physical pain. He does have a valid point though, one that I keep telling myself every time that I get an email with the first sentence being "I am sorry, but...", and that is that rejection is not always personal.
I have live my life like this for a long while. Bruneau's article in Forbes does a great job in pointing out the positivities of having a deficiency in an area. I love the way she said that it shows that you have not reach your full potential yet, which is something that I keep telling myself whenever I am turned down from a job or an opportunity that I do not meet the desired requirements.
It is also important be open to feedback and to not get offended by it, especially if the other person's intention was to be helpful. Bruneau says this, though I think it is also important to look at the person who is receiving the feedback and their individual needs. This is something that Popova indicates Grosz is arguing for in her article in Brainpickings as well as Goldberg's article. I wholeheartedly agree with this. In all my interactions with my different mentors over the years, I have experienced the most personal growth within myself form the ones that did not praise me for my skills, but were present and helped me to work on my deficiencies. They are also the mentors that I have grown to respect and appreciate the most as I realize the time and effort that they put into me. A mentor-mentee relationship like this one often grows into something much more.
 |
| This is a personal image of my first research mentor, his oldest son, and myself. He was attentive to my strengths and weaknesses and helped me to focus on them. He has become a very good friend since he has moved on to bigger and better things. |
Hey Alec,
ReplyDeleteTo be honest, I give you props for at least trying. Believing in yourself is the best thing you can do and I am very jealous of you for that. I am terrified of rejection so some times I don’t even try. I often doubt myself and end up wondering, “what if I applied?” I also agree with you that people should be open to feedback. It isn’t there to bring you down but to help you grow as a person.