On one particularly day, the kids in the school were going on a field trip to the local zoo. The other kids began to scheme their biggest prank yet. Pairing up in groups of four for the field trip, the three biggest and strongest boys decided to be in the Quiet boys's group. He was so happy, he thought that maybe they were trying to be his friends so the Quiet boy began jumping up and down and he interlocked his index fingers twice to each boy.
The other kids began to laugh at him and called him Monkey, they then dragged him over to the gorilla exhibit and tossed him over the edge onto the cold concrete below. The Quiet Boy, dazed from his fall, did not understand why his new friends were so mean to him. He began to cry with big heaving sobs, but still he did not make a sound. All the other kids began to gather to laugh at him and call him Monkey while throwing bananas and other fruit at him. All the commotion woke up the gorilla in the exhibit. Angry that his afternoon nap was disturbed, Harambe the gorilla, let out a deep bellow silencing the crowd.
Livid, he stomped around the enclosure hooting and beating against the walls. The other kids began to scream as he approached the Quiet boy, who was oblivious to the situation as his tears began to form a small pool around him.
Harambe loomed over the Quiet boy, still extremely irritated with the high pitched screaming in the background, Harambe half thought about slamming his fists into the Quiet boy's head, but decided otherwise when he heard no sound coming from the sobbing boy. Interested, Harambe sat down by the boy and began to pat his back to make him feel better. After a few minutes, the Quiet boy looked up at Harambe and put his hand to his face before removing it in an outward motion. A toothy smile formed on Harambe's face as he realized that the boy was signing. Harambe responded and then the boy responded and then Harambe again, this silent conversation went on for hours as the other kids left the Quiet boy behind since the for sure thought he was dead.
When given the chance to leave the exhibit to return home, the Quiet boy decides to embrace his nickname and chooses to live with Harambe in the gorilla enclosure. Harambe and Monkey became best friends.
Image of Binti-Jua rescuing a boy how fell into her exhibit in 1996. |
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Author's Note: This story is based off of the general theme of several of stories in the Saints and Animals section of reading. A main character, who is usually special in some way befriends an animal, and together they live a happy life. The main myths of focus here are of Saint Kentigern and the Robin and The Wolf-Mother of Saint Ailbe. Harambe the gorilla is based of Harambe the gorilla.
Bibliography: Brown, A. 1900. The Book of Saints and Friendly Beasts
In general, I liked your story. I thought you had good pacing and the conflict was good. Did you mean to use the word "quite" or "quiet" to describe the boy? You used both at different points in the story, which was a little confusing.
ReplyDeleteMy "WOW" moment in this was the diction you used: "loomed", "bellowed", etc. It really adds to the story, in particular giving the reader a sense of how large and terrifying the gorilla could have been. You show the danger of the situation, which surprises the audience when the story turns out well.
Something I wondered about was how you said they called the boy Monkey when he got excited or sad, but it didn't seem to really fit his quiet personality. What makes him excited or sad? Also when he meets the gorilla, there is no callback to this nickname which I thought was strange.
What I would suggest for next time is to proofread your story. By fixing a few of the little mistakes, the story would be pretty good!
This story has a much better ending than Harambe's life. Something you could do is make the boy deaf or even mute, that could be a good reason for his quietness. Then, the boy and Harambe could speak in sign language to each other! That would be beautiful. I love that you used an actual image of a boy and a gorilla in an enclosure, but I will tell you right now that isn't Harambe. RIP Harambe :( He will live on in our hearts.
ReplyDeleteI am not familiar with the Saints and Animals reading, but I am familiar with Harambe the gorilla so I was really curious about reading your story.
ReplyDeleteThe part of the story that really caught my attention was when the big/strong boys threw him over the edge of the gorilla exhibit. I knew what actually happened in the news story so I just was not expecting that at all!
I was wondering why the Quiet boy was so quiet? Is there a specific reason why? And where did he learn all of the different gestures with his hands? That was the only part where I was a little confused.
What if you explained why he was so quiet and where he learned how to make the gestures to talk to Harambe the gorilla? I think that would help make a solid connection. Overall, it was a really interesting story to read!
I am very touch at the scene where Harambe consoled Monkey and showed that he understood what Monkey was feeling. This scene gives a feeling that the animals can overlook one’s appearance and focus on one’s attitude and personality. This is opposite to the people because there are so many stories about kids being bullied because their difference. I am very impressed how you connect the theme from the original story to the modern situation. At the end of the story, I understand that the Quiet Boy developed a special bond with Harambe after this encounter, but I am confused why you ended the story with the boy lives Harambe in enclosure. Realistically, that is impossible because no one will allow a young child lives with an exotic animal. Is there any way that you can let the Quiet Boy and Harambe stay close to each other besides having the boy lives in the enclosure? What do you think about the drive of wanting to stay close to Harambe leads the boy to become a zookeeper or veterinarian for exotic animals? Other than that, this is a very touching story.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your story this week! I think you did a great job your story flowed so well. Your word choices were amazing. I do however agree with the above comments, why did they get the nickname monkey? Why did he have to be happy or mad to sign? Maybe you could include more backstory on the little boy, or include an incident or scenario which could explain more about the little boy? Over all I think you did great this week on the story.
ReplyDeleteAgain, I love your writing style. I actually grew up in Ohio, so hearing all of the Harambe stories made me sad, since that was the gorilla I grew up seeing at the zoo. This, though, made me laugh because of the scenario and how unique to its kind it was. Great job!
ReplyDeleteThis stuff always makes me so sad/angry about how mean kids can be. I have a little sister with special needs so it really hits home for me. Your stories are so creative and they really capture emotion and detail very well. I like how he finally found a place where he was accepted and embraced it, leaving his life behind. The image you found was perfect for the story. Great job!
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